NOISE.

Gem Fatale

2010-10-23T14:48:00.000+01:00

Out of all the blogs I subscribe to (and believe me there are a fair few) Gem Fatale's is most definitely my favourite. Her down to earth, friendly and fashionable advice and musings are pure awesomeness.

If that wasn't enough, to mark her 3 year bloggiversary she had a giveaway every day of last week. Epic.

If you enter you're in with a chance of winning Boots No. 7 Protect and Perfect Intense range, some gorgeous Tabio tights and socks, beautiful jewellery by Me & Zena, dresses by Max C London, and some cute boots from Bertie. Too cool.

Wish me luck in the giveaways!
x

New school bag

2010-09-29T18:51:00.000+01:00

Okay I don't normally do this kind of thing but I'm shamelessly in love with satchel bags at the moment and the chance to win this one is something I can't pass up.

The opportunity comes from the wonderful Ladenzeile & CRUEL THING whose style is amazing. I'd recommend hopping over to take a look :)

Susie x

0010

2010-09-19T00:12:00.000+01:00

Scout
Loyal recruit
with a c not a q and the right wing view that all should obey and stand straight while they pace in front.
art is not art is not fond of you. You are fond of me. The marching and the arching of backs as you exercise your body not your rights not your thoughts.
conform. believe. cause a wave of nothing and nothing and nothing and
something
but not anything
because you are not you. are not thoughts are not curses are not heart-felt opinions.

-----------------------------------------------

words
blurs
on a line in front of my
eyes
and my brow that drips
sweat
wet
perspiration
because i cannot hold
or understand
or comprehend
what is happening
snapping the life from my mind
and the pen
which is mightier than the
sword
but falls uselessly down by my side
as i submit and
admit
that I can't

2351 and no closer to lightsout

2010-09-19T00:01:00.000+01:00

Without you.
Without death and shadows and shoulders and crows and fear of going outside of opening your mouth and saying, straying, words falling, calling your name. This once.
Knowing I me it as one two all together now. Promises are cracking, smacking, holding down your neck and veins
throbbing
sobbing and gasping for breath as I gaze
in a hazy, lazy fashion at the ground and mark the
footprints, the patterns and designs and finds on the carpet floor.

------------------------------------------------

Haven't you heard or seen or witnessed or confessed. The pope is here. It's time to move and grovel and humble yourselves to the structure of society and the hierarchy of a system put in place to make the highest the lowest and the lowest the highest and just look at what has happened. We are told of the atrocities and calamities and catastrophes but not the saving, the healing, the grace the pace that quickens in hearts round the world.
The power and the strength and the honourable push push push to keep wheels grinding, mechanisms winding
you up.

----------------------------------------------

I am the city.
I am the waves and the motions and the cars swish swooshing past the anchors and the mirrors and the horrors. I am the passing of time. The movement of molecules, air particles, tiny
miracles.
I am your ever-ending will to survive and believe and question everything and nothing and accept everything and nothing and believe.
I am the turning of the clock. The ticking of the wheels.
I am you and you are a horse-carriage, rocking, smoking, locking and halting.
Before falling.

Late night noise

2010-08-13T19:23:00.001+01:00

1
I'm waiting for you.

I've settled myself down and now I'm waiting.

You said this time it'd work.

I've done everything you've asked.

But no amount of refreshing or waving you in the air will make you play.

I hate technology.

2
I'm wired

I'm hyped

I've had the red and the orange and the yellow and the green and the purple

I'm ready to go

No stopping me now

I'm alive

You don't understand me

You don't know what it's like

You say I'm wasting my money

Destroying my body

Ruining my life

But you don't know

You've never tried it

You don't know how it feels

Come on

I say

Just try it

And you reach out

And you take it

And you taste the rainbow

3
One by One

Two by Two

Three by Three

andfourbyfour

Now I've started I can't stop

You're giving me headaches, sweats, cramps

You're giving me toothache, rotted gums, obesity

You're giving me odd looks on the bus,
hidden wrappers in my room,
missed meals,
empty bank,
throwing up in the toilets

But still the hands shovel

Still the mouth waters

Still the teeth crunch,
the bones break,
the fingers snap
and down it goes

Down, down, down
to the dank pit

Already overloaded

Please, God, not more

Please help me

Please stop me

I want to

I'm sick of you

I hate you

I despise you

But I can't stop

Please, God, not more

2010-08-13T19:14:00.004+01:00

I raised £850 for the gastro unit by shaving my head.

Win :)

2010-07-16T19:03:00.000+01:00

Hates when this
and that
and those
lose their meaning.
Create new songs without me
so I have to listen through muffled pillows

suffer
womb
rebirth

crows and ghosts
and worms
and maggots
on my shoulders
in the bath
crawling.

make a statement
make it true
make them believe
YOU ARE SO POWERFUL

drip
and drop
and splash
and slop around.
Overflow.

Refill.

All this and more can be yours
SALENOWONBUYONEGETONEFREETHREEFORTWOCLEARANCEALLSTOCKMUSTGO.

buy
sell
throw-it-away

move move move
nowhere to go.

It's your turn now.

Susie's Big Shave

2010-06-17T13:37:00.001+01:00

Susie's Big Shave!

On 17th July 2010 I will be shaving my head to raise money for the P2 ward (Fund no. 4275-ward P2) at the Royal Hallamshire hospital in Sheffield, which deals with all gastro enquiries.

The shave will be taking place at 2-4pm at All Saints Ecclesall Parish Church where there will also be cakes for sale and live acoustic sets from some great Sheffield artists!

More info on the cause

The department of Gastroenterology at the Hallamshire Hospital is an acknowledged centre of excellence, providing services to cover the entire range of gastrointestinal conditions including endoscopy. This service deals with the diagnosis and treatment of disorders of the digestive system including abdominal pain, ulcers and cancer. Gastroenterologists perform complex diagnostic and therapeutic procedures and consult with surgeons when abdominal operations are required. The department is renowned nationally and has pioneered a number of unique endoscopic techniques. Expertise includes investigation and treatment of acid reflux, dyspepsia, diarrhoea, inflammatory bowel diseases, coeliac disease and pancreatic disease. It also provides one of the country’s only Capsule Endoscopy services to investigate suspected small bowel disease such as gastrointestinal bleeding, suspected Crohn’s disease, and familial polyposis.

It's not the most glamorous of wards. Patients often have to undergo very uncomfortable and embarrassing procedures to find the source of their digestive problems, which have sometimes gone undiagnosed for some time. The staff there are some of the only people willing to listen to your bowel complaints (a subject not many people want to talk about!), and don't give up in trying to find the source of your difficulties.

On a personal level, it is this department that have investigated me over the last couple of years. Despite all my symptoms pointing towards a diagnosis of Crohn's disease, several procedures were unable to find it. The doctors didn't give up though and referred me to have a capsule endoscopy- a painless and ingenious piece of technology that finally enabled me to be diagnosed. This isn't a cheap procedure and Sheffield is one of the only places in the country that offers it. People I met in hospital had come from all over the country to get help from this ward and they weren't disappointed. One woman said she would've had to wait over six months to have the all investigations carried out that they did in one day at the Hallamshire.

I want to raise money for the care of those you rarely hear about. This is something that could affect you one day and the progress of technology and new treatments could help a close relative or friend get back to living a normal life. It would be great if you could sponsor me- I'll be shaving my head for this cause! To do so via Just Giving (a quick and easy way to give money to charity online) click on the link at the side of my page.

For more details please contact susieisonfire@hotmail.co.uk

Thanks x

NOISE.

2010-06-12T16:11:00.000+01:00

More and more I'm realising I was born far too late. More and more I'm realising the people I fit in best with are the people I see the least. More and more I'm realising that I'm changing faster than I thought I would.

It's just one of those points in life. Where you realise you get on better with people almost twice your age. Where you realise certain relationships have grown stale and your not actually sure you want to renew them. Where you want to completely change your outward appearance to illustrate the change within. Where you want to move to Scandinavia.

This is another reason I'm annoyed at having to resit the year- I just don't really fit in there. I'm so eager to get out there- to broaden my horizons; too see MORE.

I want to live in a library.
I want to shave my head.
I want to wear lipstick.
I want to stay up to watch the sun rise.
I want to make campfires.
I want to learn to sing.
I want to wear headdresses.
I want to dance to 80s ska-punk with tall lads wearing shades.
I want to travel.
I want to abandon technology for a while.
I want to act every day.
I want to wear fancy dress for the sake of it.
I want to swim in the wild.
I want to talk for hours and hours about everything and anything.
I want to drink coffee.
I want to not worry about money.
I want to walk everywhere I go.
I want to re-decorate.
I want to develop my own film.

I want the impossibly perfect life everyone dreams of. But it's probably nothing like yours.

Summer.

2010-05-08T12:52:00.000+01:00

I want this summer to be full of rolling in the grass and water fights.
Barbecues and slush puppies.
Shorts and skirts and suncream.
Ripped tights from climbing trees.
Picnics that cost £1 from tescos.
Learning new things like how to skateboard and do french plaits.
Bruised knees and scraped elbows from daytime adventures in the woods.
Late nights drinking beer outside and watching bats flit around the house.
Seeing people you've neglected.
Smoothies and virgin cocktails.
Fish and chips on the beach.
Doing something spontaneous.

(I claim no credit for these photos. All I had saved on my computer and lost the source of. Apologies to the owners of these photos, do contact me if you want them taken down.)

I want this summer to be perfect.

Some nice things.

2010-04-04T17:08:00.000+01:00

Or at least things that I'm liking at the moment....

WARNING: very picture heavy.

Nadia Napreychikov's Grad Collection
Nadia Napreychikov, co-writer (along with Cami James) of the DI$COUNT blog produced a grad collection that is exciting, fascinating and beautiful. I especially love her attention to detail and blown out proportions. Definitely some ideas in there that you could translate into everyday wear.

Wedges.
Yup. I'm obsessed. Top on the list are of course the beautiful Acne Atacomas, my personal favourite being in black.

Acne Atacoma in Black Calf

If it weren't for the fact that these babies are over £400, they would be on my feet right now.
Having resigned myself to the fact that these will remain merely a fantasy my love for wedges reaches on down to the more accessable market, starting with Jeffrey Campbell's ones.

Jeffery Campbell Clinic in Black Calf

Jeffery Campell Mary Roks in Grey

Jeffery Campbell Pixie in Black Suede

Jeffery Campbell 99 in Black

Jeffery Campell Potion in Black (from what I've seen they look much better on.)

Other nice wedges to look at...

David Bowie inspired fashion
Because we all know he had great style :)
This is the Dora Abodi Fall 2010 Collection

My Minolta 7000
Can't wait to get the film developed but it will have to wait until after Houseparty (will write about this later).
The Minolta 7000 was the first camera to be made with both an autofocus and auto-rewind. It's beautiful and I love it.

Houseparty 2010
The annual trip to Wales our church does to have fun, get wet, muddy and tired, learn more about ourselves and about God, have LIFE-CHANGING spiritual experiences and make lots more friends! I've gone on the last two years and they've both been incredible. Last year especially but I'm not sure I want to talk about why on the internets. This year we're taking more people than ever before and it should be INCREDIBLE. In fact, I know it will. I kind of hate that the rest of the post is about material things.
God is awesome.
Sing praise.

x.o.

DIY inspiration

2010-03-20T14:48:00.000Z

Found these sunnies at Lazy Oaf- SO DIY-ABLE
Just add some chain to your oversized glasses with your trusty glue gun

There's also loads of ideas for customisation and DIYing at NastyGal:
Like this easy-peasy-lemon-squeazy cut-out dress which will probably cost you a fiver instead of the £42 they're selling it for.

Personally I can't see the attraction of this 'duct tape skirt', but if you did you could... well... duct tape your skirt.

This is a quite good idea- make the face with fabric paint or just buy a t-shirt with some kind of face on and then attach a zip and contrasting fabric. Voilà!

Modern take on a classic pinafore/LBD?

Ridiculously simple studded shorts. You can get the studs from most online haberdasheries or the ol' studsandspikes.com which is slightly more pricey but has an excellent range and good quality.

A good way to spruce up that old halterneck you have from last summer...

...And there's lots more so head on over there for some inspiration!

Once I get all my photos sorted I'll post some of the DIYs I've done recently.

Susanna x

I sound pretentious

2010-03-15T18:39:00.000Z

But I'm just trying to be honest.

Envy is a funny thing.
Everyone has problems in their lives and everyone has things they wished had never happened and yet sometimes we long to be someone else. What would this achieve? What would it take to make your life better?
Life is not perfect.
It never will be.

I hate it when you call it coincidence or try to find other explanations. Trust me on this one. He's real and He's here. And I want to know you forever, not some short, fleeting experience. Not a single breath. Not a waste of time.
Believe me.

Life seems so beautiful and fragile at the moment and all I want to do is wrap myself in it and be submerged in comfort and love and a pure beauty that man never achieves. I don't want to see you down a pint and throw up in the streets. I don't want to hear you shout abuses at those you hardly know. I don't want to feel the rough touches of careless lust or the stabs of remorse at days gone by.
I want to preserve this feeling of endless, timeless peace.
I want to see landscapes at dusk- the thousands of opportunities stretching out.
I want to hear real, honest laughter, animals shouting, steady breathing.
I want to feel rough wood and soft moss and strong hugs of those you can trust.

Please don't burst this bubble just yet.

Sunday = Funday

2010-03-07T21:30:00.001Z

Y'know I really think I might just've got healed today.
I KNOW RIGHT I CAN'T STOP SMILING.

And in other news my brother is a genius:

Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone
A boy with a scar on his head
Lies alone and depressed in his bed.
A knock on the door and a long story short
Turns out he's a wizard insted.

3 years ago. He's a legend.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Boy hears a voice in the night,
Girl thinks there's a snake in the pipes.
He goes underground and looks all around
And what-dya-know she was right.

After the first two books it gets a little complicated to summarise the plots.
So here's a competition for y'all... The person who can make the best limerick about any one of the rest of the books will get a special cookie just from me. You can enter as many as you like and there'll be categories for each book (so there'll be FIVE winners in total).

DON'T LET ME DOWN GUYS.

Susie x

EDIT//
Ben wins. Without any competition.
Check it out here
He's a bit of a wizard :)

I have to warn you...

2010-03-05T16:00:00.000Z

...this won't be the most linear of blogs.

My mum has finally persuaded me to set up a blog and I'm quite glad I have.
This will be a place for just about everything and anything- craft, fashion. inspiration, ideas and moaning. But hopefully not too much of the moaning.
Some things on my mind today:

The body

(by the way- I may take and post some odd pictures. Do not be alarmed that my mouth looks like that of a horse.)

I'm going to be one of the few lucky people to have the experience of the endoscopy pill- a pill that travels down your body taking pictures and beaming them back to the doctors.

I like to think of it as some crazy sci-fi experiment that I have to submit to in order to save man kind.

Here's the technical bizz-wizz if you're interested.

Church 'families'
In the church the community is sometimes referred to as the church family which I think fits the bill perfectly. Growing up in a church is like having a massive extended family and when you're in trouble or need support it's like you can choose from hundreds of brothers and sisters to confide in.

Since getting ill it's really stood out to me how amazing the church community is. Don't get me wrong- friends who don't go to church have been just as amazing, supportive and faithful, but it's only in the church that you get people praying for you and asking after you who you didn't even know existed! Such is the networking of churches that I have people all over the country praying for me. Those I know well and those I've never met, all talking to the same God.

A friend from school once said to me that although they didn't believe in anything to do with Christianity they really envied that I had such a big and friendly community. It got me thinking that outside of religion you really don't get so many people gathering together, willing to do so much for people they hardly know. Such is society nowadays that we are encouraged not to talk to strangers, most people will move seats or try desperately to ignore you on the bus if you strike up conversation, and groups of more than 3 people on the street are seen as being anti-social. These may be slightly stereotypical views, but it still remains that the love and sacrifice you find in a church family is unlike anything else you get today, and I am extremely thankful to be a part of it.

I think that's probably it for today but I'll try and update regularly and at least keep things vaguely interesting.

Susanna